Let's Eat

Happy Thanksgiving!! Today I come to you with a confession that in this busy season I have not spent time with the one I love the most. I have let wonderful responsibilities and joyful obligations fill my days. This is a busy season in my life, but I want to do better at spending good quality time with God.

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Already Equipped for Tomorrow

God knows us so intimately that when he formed us in our mother’s womb he took into account all that we would face in our life to come. He prepared us for every moment as he intricately wove together each aspect of our person. God equipped us for our entire life before we took our first breath. That is love.

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When You Have No Peace

My daughter was fighting for her life, we were living in a hospital, unable to work, overwhelmed with facts, uncomfortable with treatment protocols, and our future was unknown. Nothing in that situation seems peaceful, but our God took the chaos of that dark situation and used it to focus my attention on Him.

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Making Sense of the Pain

As I was reading I came across Psalm 73, and it spoke to my heart. I brought clarity to the difficult situation that we have all faced, pediatric cancer, and it brought me peace. It gave me a glimpse into how God redeems the suffering that we’ve all encountered. We are not forgotten, we are not being punished...we are blessed.

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Happy Mother's Day

Motherhood is beautifully blessed, but not for the faint of heart. Motherhood is like living with your heart and soul outside of yourself in another person. It is the ultimate lesson of selflessness and servitude.

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Parenting is Difficult, but Blessed

Did you know that God did not choose the Father-Child relationship,
but CREATED it to represent the intimate connection he desires with us as his children?
The pure love we have for our kids is a constant reminder of the inescapable love our Father in Heaven has for us.

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But the greatest of these is Love

LOVE

                “And now I will show you the most excellent way”

Love is Powerful.

“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

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The Gift of Time

I want to share with you a lesson the Lord taught me during my last Christmas Season with my daughter Claire. We were scheduled for an intense inpatient chemo mid December, and the hospital stay would last through January. Our family had already spent a majority of our time at Duke since July upon her diagnosis.  Birthdays, Thanksgiving, now Christmas and the New Year would be celebrated in a sterile room the size of a generous closet. As you can tell by my tone, it was too much, I was broken and in need of restoration.

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Life is War

Wars are not won in an instant, but one battle, one move at a time. When my daughter was receiving treatment I found myself laying all requests at his feet and praising God for every victory. Each moment that composed each day held a different need. Healing, a fever, a desire to eat, a quick admission, a quiet clinic neighbor… By literally pouring out my heart to God, I was giving Him control, and allowing him to fight for me.

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Heaven Day #2: All in His plan

May is such a beautiful month. The birds are chirping, the flowers blooming, trees are sprouting, and little creatures are coming out to warm themselves in the sun. God’s beauty is on full display around us, and I am thankful for the reminder of his goodness.

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20 Months & 17 Days: The Tipping Point

 wish that today was just the third day of February, but for Jordan and I it is much more. Today marks 20 months and 17 days since Claire departed from us. Today we have lived the same amount of time with her as we have without her. Tomorrow, I will have spent more seconds, minutes, hours, and days of my life grieving Claire than I did holding her. My mind struggles to comprehend the fact that I spend a much greater portion of my life remembering her than I did creating memories with her.

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2016. A Year to Trust

Last year was not easy, and I do not believe I fully got a handle on it. Therefore, I am not sure that I am ready for 2016 or if I ever would be. To be honest, control is something I struggle with. I know it belongs solely to God, but I try to hang on to it.

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The Straw that broke the Camel's back

How could something as small, light, and unnoticeable as a drinking straw become overwhelming; breaking your last ounce of strength? I never fully understood this saying until recently. Grief seems to occupy so much of my heart and my mind that at times I find myself greatly affected by the small things in life.

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Working from Ashes

Currently we are studying the book of Nehemiah at church, and I find myself relating to this piece of scripture at this point in my life. The book begins reflecting upon the state of despair that Jerusalem is in; the people had been exiled, the city walls torn down, gates burned, and the Jerusalem was completely vulnerable to all that surrounded it.

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Claire's 3rd Birthday: A Quiet Reminder

Sunday would have been Claire’s 3rd Birthday, but how do you celebrate someone’s birthday when they are not here? Birthdays are filled with joy, but honestly that is not the emotion I find myself filled with. We could get together with family, share stories of Claire, and reminisce about her lively spirit; but I am just not ready for that. I miss her so much that it is hard to remember her without a sharp pain in my soul. So what do we do? 

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Beyond the Box

Many people are still unsure about exactly what our foundation does.  I am writing this blog in attempts to answer that question.  We strive to be there for our families from the first day of diagnosis to the end of their treatment. Most people only know about our boxes, but that is only the very beginning.

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Derek @ 4 Months: Too Busy to Rest

My Derek is four months old. For the first part of his life he was the most calm and content baby who loved to sleep. Then all of a sudden everything changed. He is now a ball of energy wanting to go, do, grown, achieve, and never stop. Unfortunately, the only thing that hasn’t changed is his need for large amounts of rest. Therefore, naps have turned into a battle. I can imagine his thoughts as he struggles to give in.

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